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Snip, snip.

So, I finally went and decided to do it.

Getting a vasectomy is something that I’ve been considering for some time, ever since the thought of me splitting with my ex became more and more a reality.  So, last month I called the doctor and made an appointment.

Call it my year anniversary gift to myself, after moving out of my house.

I’ve got quite a few friends who have had the procedure done, and all of them reported that it was nearly painless and quick, and didn’t affect their sex lives one bit afterward.  These statements were all well and good, but it really doesn’t matter how many people you’ve got in support of you - whenever you’re commissioning a doctor to go near your genitals with surgical equipment, it’s going to give a man pause.

Nonetheless, I had some other things to consider - I’m 42 now, and I have three adult children.  My girlfriend is half my age, beautiful and sexy, and doesn’t want any kids right now - which I’m more than happy to support emphatically.  My child-rearing days are over, and if I really get the morbid desire to deal with toddlers I can always go and pick up my grandkids for an afternoon.

Yeah.  I’m a grandpa, too.  *headdesk*

Either way, after discussing it with my girlfriend, and getting her take on it - she personally is all in favor of not having to take the pill any more, and she says that in the future if she does decide she wants children, she would much rather adopt than try and push one out of her very petite body - I decided to go ahead and get the procedure done.

Once the day arrived, I got up and rolled down to the clinic for my 8am appointment.  The doctor in our area that does the procedures also works at the urgent care clinic, so I got to sit with all of the sickies waiting to get their antibiotics in the early days of February while I waited for my procedure.  I had opted to go ahead and have the consultation and the procedure all done at the same time, so I didn’t have to waste a trip going down to talk with the doctor and simply reiterate that I knew what I wanted done.

The doctor was pretty cool about the whole thing, getting there and starting up some banter about where I was in my life and what I wanted of the future.  He was very informative and helpful about what the procedure would entail, and once we finished ten or fifteen minutes of discussion on the subject, he got to work.

As for the actual procedure, it took less than a half hour.  The most uncomfortable part of the whole thing was the local anesthetic shot, which was less painful than a tetanus booster.  While he was going about the procedure we bullshitted about snowboarding and skiing, and when he was done he sent me on my way with a wad of gauze tucked up against my sac, and wished me well.

Afterward, I stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up an athletic supporter for myself, as he said the best way to eliminate post-surgical pain was to keep the testicles tucked up tight against the body.  I wore the jock for the next three days, with the bundle of gauze pressed firm against my sac, and by the time Friday rolled around I was ready to go skiing - which I did, and skied heavily over Friday and all Saturday.

My health insurance is pretty good, but I really didn’t know how much, if anything, they would cover.  I wasn’t really worried about the cost, because over years I’m sure it will be more than compensated in the price of condoms and birth control pills.  As it turned out, all I had to pay was the $20 copay and the procedure was completely covered by my insurance.  Bonus.

During the weekend, it was time for me to answer the next looming question - how well the equipment was working after the worm-factory had been taken offline.  The doctor said I should wait about a week, but that’s not something I really do good waiting for - so I dug into my selection of online porn and grabbed my junk.  Aside from being a bit tender with the hole in the front of my sac, I didn’t have any problems whatsoever - and everything functioned just as it’s always performed.

In a way, I think I might be more consistently horny now than I was before.  Now, I need to polish off twenty nuts before I can take a sample back to the doctor’s and verify that I’m sperm-free.  Once that’s done, then my girlfriend and I can get back to fucking like rabbits without the concern that we’re going to roll that 1/1000 chance that her pill will fail.  Thank Science for effective birth prevention!