What do we want in life? Is it simply to be able to look forward to the day yet to come with a sense of hope that it might be better than the one it follows?
I was told once that it's not our lot in life to be happy, but to live through what life hands us and be thankful for what we have. I think that's a crock of shit, personally. Life is what we make of it for ourselves, and anyone who accepts anything less than the best has given up on themselves. Their soul is already dead - it's just going to take some time for their bodies to figure it out, and die along with them.
You can be truly happy in life, if you choose to.
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Despite the fact that I’ve known for some time about the reality of my desires being a bit different than that of everyone else, I really have to say it came to a pinnacle about three years ago when I found an online adult roleplaying forum named Elliquiy. I’d spent months prior to this playing around in the Yahoo chatrooms looking for experiences that would help inspire my (at the time) sagging libido, and whereas my success was limited, it certainly did pique my interest for more adventurous types of scenes. Unfortunately, the Yahoo chatrooms left much to be desired in the way of consistency, and you never could tell from day to day what kind of experience you were going to have.
Eventually it became too much of a hassle, and I sought out a different venue. A Google search led me to Elliquiy, and that’s basically where my search ended. The forum I’d found was a very close-knit private community of open-minded adults, many of whom were already involved in the BDSM society, and many others who were virtual newbies and neophytes such as myself. I immediately formed a number of close relationships, some of which I still cherish to this day. What was even more pivotal for my personal life experience was the fact that I found something that rekindled my own personal passion immersed in the BDSM community. Concepts and ideas that were shared there seemed to speak directly to my soul, igniting not only my desire for more, but also my prematurely deceased libido. My wife at the time, who had been hounding me for years to see a doctor concerning what she felt was ED, was suitably pleased when I began showing her increased attention in the bedroom. Little did she suspect at the time that my invigorated sex drive had nothing at all to do with her.
I’d considered spilling a long dissertation on exactly how my marriage dissolved, and the problems that existed throughout it - but i’ll sum it up by saying that as a young adult, I was woefully lacking in self-esteem. It wasn’t until I was nearly 40 years old that I finally discovered my own self worth, and began to rebuild my confidence. This certainly had a pivotal role in causing my divorce, and has also brought me to the place where I am now - a confident, assertive man who knows exactly what he wants from life, and will accept no substitutions whatsoever.
My budding Dominance has helped me to (almost) understand women as well, and accept the fact that at their core, they yearn for and desire a confident and assertive man so that when they have returned from their days of hard work and effort, they can exist in a place of security and safety knowing that their Dominant man is there to assure they are protected and cherished. They can surrender their own power requirements, and be the sensual, sexual creatures they inwardly yearn to be.
I cherish my own Dominant nature, though it is not something that I flaunt or parade around on a banner proclaiming my greatness. It is a simple thing, really - and it is meant for my lovely, in perfect harmony with her submissive nature at my side. I personally feel that if a person needs to label themselves as “Dominant”, perhaps they’ve missed part of the point of being Dominant in the first place.
I’m kinky. It’s not just something I do for fun - it’s who I am. I’m proud of who I am, and I won’t change it for anyone, or anything.